I love Dear Prudence so much. Other advice columnists are all about giving broadly applicable advice to regular people, with regular problems. Not so for Prudie! She inhabits a screaming nightmare realm of ghost marriages and gay twincest, where all mother-in-laws are scheming poisoners and felonies are routinely swept under the rug. Her advice applies to no one in this mortal plane.
Prudie is actually a trickster god, come to earth in human guise to dupe us for her own amusement. She is our Coyote, our Pan, our Loki. She weaves an ever more elaborate story of testicular accidents, and we believe her, even though we know in our heart of hearts that such a tale could never be true.
Prudie knows exactly how to RSVP to a ghost wedding. If you listen very closely to the night wind, maybe she’ll tell you.
Prudie knows the True Name of every wizard, and the penalty for misusing it.
Sometimes Prudie wakes up with the taste of blood in her mouth and the memory of air beneath the membrane of her wings. Misfortune follows behind her.
Prudie is not 100% certain how humans behave but she tries her best.