Oh, my poor sweet man-child! I understand, my darling. Although you have the body and presumably all the functional capabilities of an adult, inside you beats the heart of a boy. Such wonder are you capable of! Nay, the adult world is too cruel for one such as you.
Come, let us journey far away from this place, full of tyrants who expect you to do things like shower regularly and wash the dishes. Rent? More like debt slavery. You are as pure as the first snow of winter, my sweet adult-bodied child. Such mundane concerts will only sully your perfect spirit.
And the women of this mortal realm, they are far too cruel to be borne. You are a delicate flower, so fresh and fragile. If only they would appreciate your unique beauty! But no, they seek only to cut and to crush you. Come away with me to a land where there are only girlfriends and mothers, and all the girlfriends are like mothers, so that you may go from the cradle to the grave without once buying your own underwear.
Just kidding, asshole. You’re pushing thirty, put on your big boy pants and take out the trash.
*concerns
Man I hope this isn’t directed at Isaac!
Goodness no, Isaac is a 100% functional adult. I just keep running into dudes who are older than me, but can’t do basic adult-type things like budget or cook or deal with a landlord. I’m not the world’s most with-it person but I feel like a Master of Adulthood compared to these guys.