Hello again, indoctrinated readers! We know you just loved our women’s magazine. You read it until your eyeballs bled! This is as we intended! But we know you can’t get enough of our signature style, so we’re starting a design magazine. Working title: Better Holes and Empty Lots with the Wind Soughing Softly Across the Bare Dirt. Catchy, right?!
You won’t believe how Melissa spruced up this drab townhouse! You won’t believe anything. Doubt will plague you for the rest of your life. There is a comfort in faith–a blind and foolish comfort, yes, but one you wish you could return to.
For a fun accent wall, demolish the wall. Let the elements into your home. Spread your arms as the wind howls through your living room. A storm is coming, yet you are not afraid. Fear is for lesser women, women too timid to take design to bold new levels.
Before & After: A Gorgeous (and Spacious) Echoing Void
Before the renovation, this was just an ordinary foyer. Now, it appears to be an ordinary foyer, but upon stepping through the door you feel a sudden wistfulness, as if you have crossed the threshold of your childhood home for the last time, and you know that there is no way to go back now. The house will endure. The house will always be someone’s home, but now it is no longer be your home. You must make your own way in the world, my child. You must carry your home in your heart.
Want a gorgeous, minimalist loft in the heart of downtown? Of course you do. We all do. But you’re going to keep living in this shitty basement apartment, miles from anything interesting, until rising rents force you to move back in with your parents in Topeka. For god’s sake, you’re a part-time receptionist. What were you expecting? No, sweetie, don’t cry. Maybe you’ll meet a rich guy. That totally happened to this one girl I know, and now she lives in this gorgeous two bedroom decorated with neo-industrial flair.
DIY idea: make something beautiful and perfect and pure. Just kidding! Perfection is unattainable. Here are ten fun ways to paint Popsicle sticks.
Turn an Ikea toilet brush holder into a lamp. Turn an Ikea lamp into a nightstand. Turn an Ikea nightstand into a bookshelf. Turn an Ikea bookshelf into a bed frame. You don’t have to play by their rules.
For the perfect garden party, you’re going to need more money than that. Much more. We don’t want to come across as middle class, dear.
The kitchen renovation was almost complete, but Miranda thought that it still needed a special something to make it “pop.” What she did will shock you. Literally! The floor is electrified. Your move, Mr. Bond.
Pictures are from Fuck Your Noguchi Coffee Table