Kaiju powers

Hey baby, what's your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator?
Hot tips from my new design magazine

The Host

The host

  • HR Giger lips
  • Skull vomiting
  • Gross little arms
  • Power of bringing dysfunctional family together
  • (Special Move) Power of thinly veiled allegory for American imperialism



  • Acid barf
  • Power of flight
  • Power to create life
  • Power to create references to Jeff Goldblum movies
  • Power of plot complications
  • Power of forgetting to mention Chekhov’s Sword in an earlier scene
  • (Special Move) Tongue kissing Charlie Day



  • Power of almost destroying JJ Abrams’ career
  • Weird lice
  • Pretty sneaky for a giant monster
  • (Special Move) Power of making the audience barf

Godzilla (old)


  • Power of hilariously ill-fitting rubber suit
  • Power of amusing stoners
  • Love/hate relationship with Tokyo
  • (Special Move) Power of overt allegory for the atomic bomb

Godzilla (2014 reboot)

new godzilla

  • Lightning barf
  • Power of emoting harder than the rest of the cast combined
  • Power of erasing Ken Watanabe’s backstory and character motivation
  • Power of appearing only in America
  • Power of forgetting that Godzilla started out as an allegory for the atomic bomb
  • (Special Move) Power naps

King Kong

king kong

  • Power of being kinda racist when you think about it
  • (Special Move) First warning that Peter Jackson might not actually be a brilliant filmmaker

The Iron Giant


  • Power of free will
  • Power of love
  • Power of art
  • Power of friendship
  • (Special Move) Power of making me drown in my own tears



  • Really good branding
  • Power of embarrassing nerds trying to pronounce his name in public
  • Power of attracting really good authors
  • Power of being in the public domain
  • (Special Move) Long naps
Hey baby, what's your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator?
Hot tips from my new design magazine

1 thought on “Kaiju powers”

  1. Notifications that you’ve written a new post are the only automated emails that I’m actually excited to see. 🙂

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