WordPress has a feature that lets me see what people were Googling for when they found this site. It turns out that most of you are stumbling onto this blog by accident, looking for things I have never written.
I hate to disappoint you, internet strangers, so I’ve written what I think you were looking for.
shirtless medieval knight
The medieval knight took off his shirt. Without his shirt and armor, he looked just like a regular shirtless guy. It turns out that the uniform is pretty important to this profession.
“Hi, Larry!” Bob yelled across their open plan office at precisely 8:00 am.
“Howdy, Bob!” Larry screamed back.
It would be a great day at the office. They had back-to-back meetings from 8 am to 1 pm, followed by a mandatory potluck, followed by six solid hours of team-building exercises. After that, they would spent the evening cold-calling strangers for fun. What a wonderful, extroverted culture they had created.
sir gawain and the green knight slash
“Oh, Green Knight,” said Sir Gawain, running a knightly finger down his lover’s forest-green pecs. “Who knew that when I first chopped your head off with an axe, it would be the start of something so beautiful?”
game of thrones blue guy
locke lamora fanfiction
“What a lovely day,” said Locke Lamora. “I sure hope none of my dearest friends die of poison or stab wounds or sorcery or anything of that nature.”
“I’m sure it will be fine,” said Jean Tannen.
And it was fine. Jean went to live with the pirates, who were magically all alive again, and nothing bad ever happened to anybody.